Grand Theft Parsons : The Pact


Parsons' bodysnatcher Phil Kaufman spent years on the road as "executive nanny" for the likes of Emmylou Harris, Steve Earle, Joe Cocker, The Rolling Stones and Jefferson Airplane. His road manager role first started with Gram Parsons.

The pact between Parsons and Kaufman was made just two months prior to Parsons' death. Their mutual friend musician, Clarence White, had been loading equipment from his car after a gig when he was killed by a drunk driver. His funeral was a Catholic High Mass in Palmdale, California and both Parsons and Kaufman agreed that this was the last thing White would have wanted. As Kaufman says in his autobiography Road Mangler Deluxe, "Gram and I had gotten very drunk at Clarence White's funeral and made a pact whereby the survivor would take the other guy's body out to Joshua Tree, have a few drinks and burn it."

The choice of location was important. Joshua Tree, an area of high desert 150 miles east of LA, was Parsons' favourite place. It was where he took his friends Chris Hillman and Keith Richards to convene with the cactus, watch the sky for UFOs and get high. There were a number of reasons why Kaufman felt he had to fulfil his word to Gram. His step-father was trying to bolster a claim for Parsons' (significant) inheritance money. If Parsons was buried in the state of Louisiana, then the jurisdiction for his inheritance would be transferred out of Florida to New Orleans where his stepfather could control it. There was animosity between Kaufman and Parsons' wife. She reportedly hated Kaufman at the time and this, coupled with the knowledge that Parson's body was a mere pawn in a dynastic struggle, strengthened Kaufman's resolve to fulfil the pact.

Kaufman said at the time, "We're going to do it. We're going to take his body as per the deal. A deal is a deal. He's our pal. We're not going to let him go back to New Orleans." He headed to LAX where Kaufman sweet talked his way through one of the most audacious send-offs in history. Drinking their way through the journey to Joshua Tree, they stopped at Cap Rock, Parsons' favourite place. The cremation was just as Parsons had wanted it. Kaufman writes, "It went whoosh and a big ball of flames went up… the flame had caused a dust devil going up into the air, into the desert night. The moon was shining, the stars were shining and Gram's wish was coming true. His ashes were going into the desert." As Emmylou Harris says in Road Mangler Deluxe "Phil cared about Gram. He might make light about stealing the body… but he took a big chance. Although he might be the last one to admit it, he did it out of friendship because he felt a commitment to Gram. It was his way of grieving."

The charred coffin was found the next day and the body snatchers appeared in court on 5th November 1973 on what would have been Gram's 27th birthday. They pleaded guilty to misdemeanour theft and were fined $300 each plus $749.99 for the cost of the coffin. As a body has no intrinsic value in the state of California there were no repercussions from the actual body snatching. Gram's inheritance passed to Parsons' estranged wife Gretchen and his daughter Polly. His body now rests in a New Orleans cemetery.

To raise the money for the fines Kaufman threw a party - Kaufman's Koffin Kaper Koncert. He pasted beer bottles with homemade labels featuring a likeness of Parsons and the legend, "Gram Pilsner: A stiff drink for what ales you." Despite the streak of black humour running through the party, it was a memorable wake. On the other side of the country, Emmylou Harris spent a weekend listening for the first time to finished versions of the sessions from “Grievous Angel”.